"Wanna Get Away?"

There is no better medicine for stress than to spend a few solid days doing nothing but hiking. It required planes, trains, and automobiles, but Jackie and I made it. There was only one initial blip—the ‘Lake Jindabyne Hotel.’ Upon arriving at our booked accommodation, we immediately detected a few minor incongruences between what the website presented and the actual room. For example, the website did not have pictures of our room, a day-glo 1970’s porno set, online. It happens. Also, I didn’t list that flies would come included in our room. So it took appx. 4.2 seconds for us to turn around and check out.

But if you recall from previous entries, this terrible twosome learned a valuable lesson while in Sydney—“throw money at the problem, and it will go away.” So we threw money at the problem and rebooked on the spot at the 4-star Quality Inn Resort. I mean, no bugs or shag carpet, but we did have a porch overlooking the lake, a fully stocked kitchen and living room.

Which brings me to another lesson. When life gives you an oven, what do you do? You cook yourself a huge corned beef dinner! “Yahtzee!”

The reason we were in Jindabyne, however, was not the culinary opportunities. We were there to hike around Mount Kosciusko National Park, and, specifically Mount Kosciusko—the highest peak in continental Australia.

The National Park was stunning. Part of the Great Dividing Range of Australia, the mountains had a purple hue and looked almost prehistoric. There were boulders and rock formations everywhere (the geological term in “glacial erratic,” big thanks to AP earth science and mom’s computer!). The mountains are fairly old, so they were more Appalachian than Rocky, but none-the-less I expected the dinosaurs from the Land Before Time to come out from behind a rock.

The summit as Mount Kosciusko was pretty, though not as overwhelmingly impressive as other (higher) peaks I’ve climbed, but it is still very cool to be able to say that for a moment in time, I was the tallest person on the continent. Something for the grandkids.

Cultural Observations:

We drove by the “Australian National Library,” while in Canberra. I’m going to be honest. It was the size of your average ranch. I mean, I went to St. Patrick’s Catholic School for years, and the library there was more impressive. And that library didn’t include books about evolution /books that mentioned sex in any capacity/ or any recreational reading …or science in any capacity. …or math in any capacity. Actually it focused almost exclusively on History, ‘Family Values,’ and Bibles.

Our rental car was a sweet Holden! Holden cars are the quintessential “Australian” car. It was made during the 1950’s and became a part of the Australian Dream, if you will, comparable to the American Fords. Oh, and the Holden is manufactured by GM. “Dude. Australia. Let it go, broski. Call a spade a spade—you’re trying to live the American Dream, too. There’s no shame in that.”


Finally, in Honor of the 1st Anniversary of her 21st birthday, I’d like to dedicate a portion of this blog to some stellar one-liners from the one, the only, Miss. Jackie Perry:

“Well Caitlin, I mean, If you think about it, this is really your fault.”
(Jackie to Caitlin, as I fumed with steam shooting out of my ears when my stupid pink computer refused to log-on to the internet.)

“Wow. You actually have more days to do nothing than you do days to do something.”
(Jackie succinctly summarizing Caitlin’s class schedule.)

“All I’m askin for is someone who didn’t let the ‘looks decent’ wagon pass them by.”
(Jackie describing what she requires in a guy. Hilarity ensued.)

“It’s getting to the point where, if it’s not a 4-5 star hotel, I can’t sleep at night. If we walk into hotels ranked lower than that in New Zealand, I’m going to flip out. Like, ‘3 stars? Are you kidding me? That’s it; we’re leaving. Get back in the camper van.’ ”
(Jackie expressing the socialite tendencies she and Caitlin are beginning to develop as a result of the ridiculously cheap prices of hotels in Australia.)

“I’m going to be honest. I said a few Hail Mary’s. But then I thought, “OMG, I’m going to be ‘forever 21!”
(Jackie revelation while aboard Virgin Blue flight DJ212 the day before her birthday, after recovering from 15 minutes of full-body-clenching turbulence.)

So raise your glasses (but only if it's magners, baileys, jack or jim) to our priceless friend, Jackie. And say it with me, "To Jackie, You've Never Met a Motherfu*ker Quite Like Her." Cheers!