Suncreen Smackdown

Moreton Island was amazing. It is the third largest sand island in the world, and despite spiders the size of softballs, horse flies the size of golf balls and lingering mild whiplash, Moreton was my favorite trip thus far. The pros far outweighed the cons, with snorkeling through shipwrecks (saw a Wollygong Shark!), sea kayaking, sand boarding and exploring lagoons as highlights from the weekend.

Now, before I continue, I want to make it clear that I, Caitlin O’Connor, am not a racist. Pinkie Promise. Back to your scheduled blog.

So there were 20 of us on this trip: Jackie and myself, an older couple from the Gold Coast, and 16 Korean students from the Language Institute. Now, of these Korean students, ½ could not swim and another ¼ had never been in the ocean before. Did this deter them from snorkeling? Nope. In fact, in addition to insisting on swimming, they categorically refused to listen our guide, Hayden, as he tried to teach them not only how to snorkel, but to swim. Having lost his patience, Hayden finally accepted defeat, yelling, “Enough! Just go snorkel!” Jackie and I quickly learned to distance ourselves from the Korean Krew, lest we be pulled under water with them. When the sand settled from the haphazard flailing of limbs trying to swim, a severely irked Hayden had to drag 8 of them from the water as they nearly drowned. Later, while kayaking, 5 Koreans piled onto a one person kayak, capsized and then screamed for help. The water was appx. 4 feet deep. Jackie and I calmly paddled far away and feigned deafness. …stop judging me.

(SIDEBAR: While snorkeling, Jackie and I barely escaped being run over by a boat. We heard screams and surfaced just in time to avoid a boat that was making its way through the docked boats—anchor down and slicing through every other boats' anchor rope. It was being captained by four Koreans.)

Also, say you’ve never seen sun block before. Maybe you’ve never even seen lotion before. How do you put it on? Now, I would like to think that I would rub the lotion into my skin. Perhaps not with the small-circle technique I have mastered over the years, but certainly I would rub. I would not slap.

Our Korean Krew, however, did slap on their sunscreen. Yep. Sunscreen in one palm, opposite arm out in front, aaaaaand slap, as if attempting to kill a mosquito or other irritating bug. I was and am still speechless.

They meant well, though, particularly our friend, Pak. Pak was adorable. Pak told me I was a very good swimmer. Pak was the first to ask to take a picture with me and Jackie, setting off the ensuing party game, “Take a Picture with the Americans.”

Cultural Observations:

-The ice creams here are suggestively named. From, “Magnums (uh, delicicious),” to, “Golden Gaytimes,” these are not your Grandma’s ice cream truck selections!

-Ok, so everyone smells AMAZING here. Honestly, we walked past a 14 year old boy at the beach, and I wafted. Even he smelled good, and I have figured out why—AEROSOL DEODORANT! They don’t use stick deodorant, but almost exclusively spray. However, this is a give and take. Yes, spray aerosol deodorant smells yummy and I am hooked, but Australia has a diminished ozone layer. Coincidence? I think not!

-Similarly, perhaps due to the strong sun, I am no joke the blondest I have been since age 8.

-Customs stole my trailmix. My mom sent me a five lb BJ's bag of trailmix and 3 weeks later the box arrived. Empty. With a note saying, "Quarantined due to ALMONDS." Almonds, Australia? Bullshit. Enjoy eating the most delicious, most well-proportioned trail mix ever made, customs officers. Dirty commie pinkos.

-I got to watch the superbowl! Granted, I've never watched the superbowl at 9 am, but it was nice to watch a real sport, regardless. Cricket does NOT do it for me. Apparantly it was shown on regular cable here because the kicker from the Cardinals is from Australia--the first Aussie in the superbowl ever. However, they did not broadcast the superbowl commercials. Thank you, though, for those of you who told me and Jackie that the commercial depicting a koala getting punched in the face made them think of us. Cheers, that was really touching, guys.

-Wildfires are currently ravaging much of Australia, with the death toll at 126 as of yesterday. This is not a disaster commonly experienced here, and they are having much trouble handling the severity of the situation. However, Jackie and I are fine where we are. Thanks everyone for their concern; the fires are appx 1700 km or 19 hours away from us (thanks Michaela! You journalist you!)