I couldn’t pick a title. So I used three.
It was dazzlingly obvious that the universe was blowing kisses promising us good fortune on our trip to New Zealand. First, our Jet Star flight from Bond to Christchurch didn’t crash! It was touch-and-go for awhile, with our plane’s engines making what only can be described as a high-power vacuum cleaner that just sucked up a small mammal, and now said mammal is lodged in it. Secondly, upon turned on the radio in our rental vehicle, we found ourselves in the midst of an hour long Fleetwood Mac marathon. YAHTZEE! Finally, in the first 20 minutes in driving in New Zealand, we were treated to, not one, but two sets of cows doing it by the side of the road. I mean, if that’s not fantastic karma…
So we were off in our chariot—the beautiful, the wonderful, the marvelous, the glorious Ms. Bessie Lurch. Bessie was a CamperVan—a Ford behemoth that we rented for the duration of our trip from “Easy Go” Campers. From shag-carpet seat upholstery, to her in-camper shower and bath (which we did NOT use!), to her sweet, sweet 0 to 60 in three-minute acceleration, Bessie was a truly something special. Ok, sure, she struggled with some of the steeper hills, prompting us to get the finger appx. 17 times, rolled backwards when shifting gears and possessed a battery that died-then-revived itself every time she was turned off, but, you know what? Bessie was just looking out for me. Spending so much time sitting, I needed the workout that driving a vehicle with no power steering that seemed to poll 45 degrees to the left. Thanks, Bess.
Ms. Lurch and her quirks aside, New Zealand is my favorite place on earth; it blew away everything and anything I’d seen in Australia in probably anywhere else. In six days we were able to see a huge chunk of the South Isalnd. From Christchurch (that was on Easter and was the closest I’d been to any church on Easter in years…which is abominable), to Omaru to see the penguin and seal colonies. Then onto Dunnedin to meet the locals, where after 40 minutes of ignoring Jackie and myself as we cussed, screamed, through Red Bull cans and generally flipped the frig out trying to back Bessie into a 20 foot wide plot on land from a roughly 60 degree angle in reverse, a Holiday Park neighbor offered to help, saying, “Now that I’m done taking the piss outta ya, do ya want some help?” Then about seven other locals emerged from nowhere (bushes, the sewers, I swear...) and proceeded to help him park Bessie for the next 10 minutes fun. Memories!
After Dunnedin was Queenstown—Adventure Capital of the World and my favorite place in New Zealand. I have much, much more to say about Queenstown, so my next entry will be dedicated solely to that leg of the trip. Traveling back up the west coast of NZ, we saw the Southern Alps (including incredible Mount Cook, the highest Mountain in NZ) and Lake Pukaki. Then next traveled to the natural hot springs of Tekapo—a journey that brought rainbows and renegade cows. Then we finished the loop back in Christchurch.
Oh…there were some other places visited, as well. Maybe I’ll just bullet them for some fun reading:
-Fangor Forest
-Great River Anduin (River Kararau)
-Isengard (Glenorchy)
-Lothlorien (Glenorchy / Paradise)
-Ithilien Camp (Glenorchy / Paradise)
-Amon Hen (Glenorchy)
-Pelenor Fields (Twizel)
-The White Mountains (Twizel)
Suffice it to say, I was in LOTR heaven.
Cultural Observations:
-In NZ, it was nice to not be the butt of every joke, as Americans. Instead, Aussies were! Por ejemplo…
“What’s the difference between Australia and yoghurt?”
Answer: If you leave them both in the sun for 200 years, the yoghurt will grow some culture.”
-Easter is a very popular holiday. There were men on Harleys wearing bunny suits, the airport and bunnies, and not just Sunday was a holiday—NZ was still charging a “holiday tax” on everything on Monday.
-It was autumn when we where there, and though the foliage wasn’t New England brilliant, it was still gorgeous. There were bins of fresh apples on the road, and we even saw geese flying NORTH for the winter!
-NZ takes care of their environment. It was discovered that a mining company was leaking small amounts of cyanide and arsenic into the Shotover River in Queenstown, so they were banned from gold mining for 50 years. Can you imagine the US banning an industry like that? “Umm, yeah, we’re really sorry [insert oil drilling company here], but you’re harming the environment, so we’re banning you for 50 years. I hope you take that time to think about what you’ve done and change your ways.”
-Alpacas remind me very much of a sheep/camel hybrid. Like a “shamel,” if you will.
-Gluten free food was even better in NZ. Even gluten free muffins and cookies in bakeries! I still freak out when something I don’t expect to be gluten free is. …gets me every time.
-We were informed at the Christchurch Airport upon departure that I would be responsible for paying a 25.00 “departure fee,” or I would not be allowed to leave. This was/is total horseshit. NZ was lucky their dollar was only 0.55 American.
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